Dear Santa,
I wish the holiday season was over. It's like a bad amusement park ride and I'm waiting for it to end with eyes closed, teeth set and fists clenched. Meanwhile, I'm easing my holiday discomfort via near-nightly inebriation. So please Santa, go away before my liver gives out. And take all my ho-hoing family and friends with you.
Love,
Joyce
P.S. I hope you enjoyed the milk and cookies I left out for you last night.
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